Maybe you woke up to a really bad day today. Maybe your life is falling apart. Maybe you feel like the foundation on which you stand has crumbled. Maybe you feel like all your hopes and dreams and future has shattered and simply picking up the pieces is just too much.
I write a lot about grief. My own grief can be crippling and defining. But I hope that I never stop there. I share my grief because I know most people can relate. Most people have lost something or someone. Most people's lives have not been what they expected them to be. Most plans don't work out exactly the way we want them to.
I write because I think you know this. I write because we are all the same in this. I write because we have all lost something. Or someone. I write because we all fall short. I write because I want you know, deep down in your soul, that whatever brokenness has happened to you or whatever you have done, it does not need to be your defining moment. That broken thing does not need to define the rest of your life. It does not make you, you. I write because instead of living in the shattered dreams, I want you to know there is hope in Jesus. Let Jesus mend your life.
For the rest of my earthly journey, Jesus will be mending my life. Healing my heart until it is completely healed and perfected in heaven.
Today is a rough day for me. Bittersweet. Bitter because this day five years ago I lost my beautiful son. My heart and soul were ripped from my body and I am left here to be mended by Jesus. My entire journey on earth is that of being mended by Him until eternal healing is mine in Heaven. Each day on this earth I live with shattered dreams, unchosen reality and a Thao sized hole.
But it's also sweet. Because I am daily reminded that we do not live for now. We live for more. For eternity. For perfection and healing in Jesus Christ our Savior. For He is preparing that place for me. And sweet because my precious blue-eyed boy is running and smiling in heaven. Surrounded by Jesus and angels and beauty beyond our dreams.
It's sweet because Jesus promised peace. He promised to never leave us. He promised eternal life with Him when we accept His free gift of grace. Days like today, I cling to that. I hope you can take the chance to share this gift with someone today. I hope that through Thao's life, God's story in our family, you have the opportunity to give someone Jesus. To show love to people around you.
If you want to know more, I'd love for you to pick up a copy of my book, Still. I wrote this memoir, memories of Thao's life and death and learning to live again, for all of us. I wrote it because there is more. This book isn't just for those of you who have lost a child, it is for all of us living with shattered dreams. Give it to a friend or buy it for yourself. I want to share this story that God has given me. Because truly, it's not mine anyway. It's God's story written in my life.