I’ll admit in the world of adoption, with all the extremes and scary scenarios, I believe we have it pretty good.
Maybe I’m just biased but I think we have some really amazing kids. Like strong and brave and gentle and kind and loving. All of them.
There are rough times though. I don’t want to paint a perfect picture. We all have our flaws. And sometimes I think we expect too close to perfection from our kids. Let me tell you something…they forget things. (I do, too.) They get tired. They get frustrated. They get scared. They get hungry. They don’t feel like listening or using their manners or being kind. They need their space. They don’t want to do school. Or clean up after themselves. Some days they don’t want to shower or do their hair. They are human. Like me and you, they often have to do things they just don’t want to do.
Our job is to teach them how to do it anyway. How to do these things with grace and good attitudes. With confidence and joy. To be thorough in our work. And to be kind in our play.
Some days are a little more challenging than others. Some days I’m less patient. Some days they push until I have no patience left at all.
And on these rough days I have to remember, somehow, God hand-picked us to be their parents. The ones that were born from me and the ones that came to me. I have to remember none of this is how God intended, but He is making a way. He didn’t want the broken and the loss and the pain for us, but we are not excempt from this hurting world. And bad things do happen to good people and parents and kids…
And for some reason, out of the millions of kids, we got the best ones. (Okay, I am biased.) But, whatever, I’ll take it.
In the midst of a consequence for disobeying today, I put my arm around my daughter and whispered, “You may not understand right now, you may not feel it right now, but I love you soooo much.” My child, again, blew me away. She stopped dead in her tracks, looked up at me and said “I understand that. I know you love me.” And turned back to her chores.
I know not every adoption story looks like this. I know adoption isn’t easy. You guys, parenting isn’t easy. Bio kids may not feel our love all the time. But…
Love is not giving up or giving in.
Love is hard.
Love is worth it.