Weary mamas, desperate souls, planners, recovering controllers. I am all of these and more. I lose sleep over all the things. I worry when I shouldn’t. I plan when I should trust. I control when I should let go. I seek out when I should rest. I do all the things, when I should be quiet. I talk when I should listen. I write when I should pray. You probably do this, too. Because that is what we do. We are human. We are caregivers. We are responsible. We are busy. And weary and worn.
Maybe you think this is not you? But did you know, you can plan all the things and pull them off well. You can fix all the meals, feed all the people, clean all the bathrooms, wash all the clothes and feel truly happy, but still fall short? Because we are not made to do all the things alone. And happiness is fleeting. It depends on us feeling as though we are right where we need to be in all of the things in all of life. But joy.
Joy comes from the Lord.
The sun comes up early each day, but yet it still rises.
There are a few things we can count on while raising these tiny humans.
One is the sun. It faithfully rises and sets each day. Some days it shines deep and wide into our lives, breathing life in the form of vitamin D and hope and joy and fresh starts and new days.
Some days the sun is what I cling to. Summer mornings are my favorite, bright and beautiful, humid and heavy. Birds chirping a new song, the same song for a new day, singing praises to our Lord. They have young to feed, too. (Luke 12:22-34)
And I am reminded in the early morning, what keeps me up at night? Why must I lose sleep over such things? Am I truly tusting the Lord with every breath, with every life in my care? Am I thinking more about my to-do list, my grocery list, my dinner plans, than I am about what the Lord has done for me? Hasn’t He always done good things for me? Hasn’t He always come through, because He IS good. He IS steadfast. He IS true. He IS always. He is the light in the darkness. He is the strength for the weary. He is joy in the morning.
Morning comes. Each new day, the sun still rises. What a beautiful thing to count on. It doesn’t matter how much money I have or what I’m feeding the kids for dinner. It doesn’t matter if I am resting in my own bed or sitting next to my child in the hospital. The sun still comes up.
Some days the clouds cover it more than others. Some days the light seems dim to us because of rain or storms. But it is still there. Doing it’s job. Steadfast.
Some days I can clearly see our Lord, His goodness, His favor, His blessings. But some days my view of Him is clouded over with the storms of life. But He is still there. Steadfast. Sure. And good.
Today I will watch the sun come up. It will rise just as it does every other day. It rises whether I am watching and aware of it or not. It rises even on days I do not care to notice. The sun does not depend on me or my faith.
The Lord does not need me to trust in Him to do His good works. To bless Him. To draw my children to Himself.
But, weary or refreshed, lonely or overwhelmed, joyful or hopeful or faithful, unsure or confident, poor or rich, whatever I am on the emotional spectrum on any given day, doesn’t change the fact that the sun comes up and the Lord is near and good and stable and sovereign. Thank goodness He does not depend on me to do good things. Thank goodness my faith is not dependent on myself.
Today I will praise Him. Sing the same song on a new day, not always knowing where the next thing I may need is coming from, not knowing when the next storm will stir, but knowing Who holds the day. Who holds all the days. Who causes the sun to rise and sets my heart in place. I may not know what the day will hold, but I know Who holds the day.