Let me paint a picture of what I thought this year would look like.
You see, this often happens with me. I plan things out. I dream up the best next step. I even write a draft of the exact path to get to where I am going…
This year began…and I had an idea of how I wanted it to go. I dreamed of traveling far places with my beautiful family. I settled on a camper and making do with very little for our family of seven. I started following people on instagram that #roadschool and live free from structure and confinement. This greenhouse life is meant for the free spirited, the flexible, the mobile. Home isn’t necessarily where we park it, it’s where we are all together. I told my children this over and over again. Each airbnb we stayed in, each town. We are home.
I decided to take my writing more seriously this year. That podcast I’ve been dreaming of? I’ll start that while greenhouses are slow. The ebb and flow of construction life, we’ve got this now. Non-commital to the routines and structures of normal life, we dove all in whenever and whereever we could. Texas, Colorado, Nebraska…we learned about the history and nature there. Illinois…time with family, hiking, soaking it all in.
I guarded my time with my husband. We loved our children well. This greenhouse life, It works for us. This season is busy and crazy and lovely and free. Suggestions filtered in and I knew I couldn’t explain how this is just us. It works for us. Some parts aren’t so well loved, but it makes the good all the better. All job choices have their quirks. It’s okay. We’re okay. Love the life. Love the people. Love our God. That’s what matters.
My “unplanned” podcast I had wanted to do, all about the things in life that don’t always work out the way we expected them to. But still, there is hope. But still, there is love. But still, we can glorify the Lord in all of it. How do we live this life well? With all the unexpected, unplanned things? How do we re-adjust? Reset? And not miss a beat in living the life of praise to our King?
Some day this podcast will certainty happen. Someday. And the writing? I fit it in. I think the Lord was whispering these ideas to me. A shift was coming. I could feel it.
I begged Him for wisdom. In my human plan, I thought the shift was traveling more and having less. In His plan, He opened doors for home and roots and committments and dare I say, normalcy.
The word made me cry and cringe and yet somewhere deep in my soul I knew it was time. I fought back for a while but it became clear, it was time. So here we are, living this life, this new adventure. One I didn’t dream up or plan. We walked through another open door. And the Lord provides.
My amazing husband is home every night. He walks through the door to a messy house, a bunch of loud and crazy kids and a wife in the middle of whatever is demanding the most at the time. It’s normal. It’s simple. It’s love.
We’ve had roots and we’ve had wings. We’ve had great, exciting adventures. We’ve had tears and frustration. Each season in our life has prepared us for the next. This new season holds it’s own adventures and we are excited to see them unfold.
I will continue to write as long as I have words to share. Navigating life with grief and family and adoption, I see no end in sight. There seems to be more words than time right now.
This summer I published my first devotional. Although I’m still waiting on a few re-formatting things, you can purchase the first version on amazon now. I’m anxious to go through it will some of you. As I adjust to this new normal, I hope to be a little more consistent with my email friends. If you’d like to be a part of that group, you can sign up here.
And that, my friends, is our latest life update! Whew. Adjusting is hard. Change is hard, even when it’s good. I’m thankful for the time to acclimate. For a patient husband who lets me process in my own way and my own time. It’s takes me a little while (enneagram four, for those of you who love the thing as much as I do!)
So, this is what normal feels like.