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Welcome

Hi! I’m Tiffany. I’m prone to using a lot of words to make things sound lovely. Because of that I have written and re-written this about a dozen times just trying to be concise. You just want to know what you are getting into, right?

Here’s what you’ll find in my little space: writings/musings/stories on my life. I have a big(ish) family; five kids and my wonderful husband. Topics include: homeschool, travel, adoption, child loss/grief, marriage and living a Christ-centered life.

We strive to live simply and love well. Thanks for joining me on this journey. I’m so glad you’re here.

Tiffany

A Part of the Story//Thao's Illness

It may be a little confusing as to what actually happened to Thao. His illness was sudden and yet dragged on. He was "sick" for much of his life with symptoms that left us confused and searching. We saw many doctors, had even more tests and no one connected the dots until we made it to Peoria. And even then, it was a mystery as to what we were fighting. I longed for concrete answers, for black and white, right and wrong, direction. But that just didn't happen with Thao. He was the most strong willed, peaceful child, fighting an invisible, silent, mysterious illness that no one understood completely. He was amazing and strong,an old soul that understood so much more than I can even explain to you.

Right before he got so, so, sick, we thought he was better. He never "looked" sick, but sometimes that's the worst. It was always so hard to go into a doctors office and look at your child who was growing, learning and doing all the normal kid things and try to explain to them...

"he's sick. there's something wrong. he is throwing up. a lot, like everyday. it's normal to him now"

He threw up so much, he had to have MAJOR dental work just before his third birthday. 

"he has this rash and high fever. it's the same one he had after his vaccinations last time" 

Hear me out. I am not doing the blame game. I'm sad that these things were not red flags for his doctors. I'm also sad because I want to believe they are doing their very best for their patients. It's just not always enough. These symptoms should be red flags. He did not have Roseola every time he had a rash 3 days after a normal vaccination. We were careful parents. We researched but there wasn't much we could find. We did limited vaccines for Thao, because the whole schedule of vaccinations did not settle well with us, (truly, none of them did, but I couldn't find reason, except my gut feelings, to not vaccinate at all.)

We tried EVERYTHING. We prayed over that child and begged for answers.

Thao never complained.

And that broke my heart even more.

I'm only telling you part of his story. I know you will do with this as you choose. I want to encourage you as parents, to pray and gather information. Ask questions. It's ok. You are your child's advocate, his biggest fan.

Children are a blessing.

I don't think that knowing Thao's diagnosis earlier would have changed the outcome. Honestly, I cannot think about it, because it's not what happened. I have to choose joy in a sinful, fallen, broken world. My joy is that I had him for 5 years, a little boy with blue eyes, that I had prayed so hard for. He was my answer to prayer, my gift.

2 Samuel 12:23b ...I will go to him, but he will not return to me.

and I will see him again, in perfection, with our Creator.

For more information on Thao's diagnosis go here or here.


war no more

Celebrate Today

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